The importance of boundaries for therapists

As a supervisor for Provisional Psychologists, I want to offer a vision of empathy that helps us stay connected with ourselves while also connecting with our counselling clients. One of the best ways to foster both kinds of connection over the long term is to develop and maintain boundaries that feel like a good personal fit. In this post, I offer some questions to help us develop a reflective practice so we can begin rethinking our boundaries in the counselling profession.

Developing a reflective practice

Reflective practice is a key component of professional growth and development. It’s also an ongoing journey that contributes significantly to our development as a therapist.

This practice involves examining some of the major societal messages we’ve grown up with regarding boundaries; specifically:

• Valuing productivity over health.
• Doing over being.
• Putting others over ourselves.

Most therapists I know have encountered these messages in one way or another. Of course, they're also mitigated or aggravated by our histories and identities. The good news is that we can question whether the things we choose to do in our lives reflect values that we hold, or values that someone or something else has held over us. From there, we can begin to get choosy about which messages we want to hang on to and which ones we’re ready to let go of. And then, with time, we can work on believing something different as we rethink our boundaries.

Boundary practice that is rooted in our current values begins by asking ourselves these
important questions:

• What am I willing and able to give?
  
• What do I need?
  
• What supports and nourishes me?
  

Importantly, the answers to these questions can and will change over time.

Protecting your emotional boundaries

In your work as a therapist, you may also want to ask yourself some questions about how you protect your emotional boundaries and well-being. Here are some prompts to get you started:

• What helps you decompress between clients so you can be present and connected with the person in front of you?
  
• What helps you decompress at the end of the day so that you can be present in the rest of your life?
  
• How do you regulate your nervous system during sessions and help your body stay in the window of tolerance?
  
• Do you have a containing practice of your own? What is it? If you don’t, or if you’d like to try a new practice, what could that look like for you?
  

Financial boundaries to bring clarity

In addition, if you work in private practice, you may also want to add to your self-reflection work questions about your financial boundaries.

I see supervisees and new therapists struggle  when they don’t have clear policies about their practice. Without them, it’s easy to start making decisions based on how we feel that day. That can lead to guilt, resentment, and even favoritism or confusion—if policies apply on some days but not others, or to some clients but not others.

Here are some questions that may help you:

• What is my cancellation/no-show policy?
  
• How will I handle non-payment?
  
• What are my typical fees, and will I offer sliding scale or reduced-fee spots?
  

Do yourself and your clients a favor by increasing clarity on these important questions. There’s no one right answer to any of these questions, and remember, it’s okay if the answers change over time.

Self-reflection as a tool for a sustainable counselling practice

In my work as a supervisor, I also encourage supervisees to focus on their experiences, challenges, and emotions that have arisen in their work with clients since our last meeting. I have a free downloadable worksheet with questions to guide you on this reflection, including prompts to reflect on ethical and boundary considerations, and to explore shifts on your nervous system.

I designed this worksheet as a tool to help new clinicians deepen their self-awareness, enhance their skills, and foster a continuous commitment to professional growth. In my years of experience, after dealing with burnout that aggravated my chronic pain early on in my career,  I've noticed that therapists' needs are rarely addressed. What happens when we only address our professional responsibilities is that we're left vulnerable to potential career- and life-altering outcomes like burnout and vicarious trauma.

This is why I've developed another resource: The Boundaried Therapist: Sustaining yourself in the counselling profession. This book is intended for both new and seasoned therapists, with the hope to broaden the conversation about therapists' limits, needs, and values. Offering a deeper dive into boundaries, including practical strategies for developing a sustainable practice and life, this is an excellent resource for practice owners, supervisors and leaders to share with their teams or supervisees.